You can't deduct charity to communist organizations!

Some highlights from the 2011 IRS Publication 17:

If you can't pay your taxes, borrow the money!

[Pub 17, pp. 17, 2011] If you cannot pay the full amount [of tax] due with your return, you can ask to make monthly installment payments for the full or a partial amount. However, you will be charged interest and may be charged a late payment penalty... But, before requesting an installment agreement, you should consider other less costly alternatives, such as a bank loan. [emphasis mine]

This might interest Warren Buffet and other billionaires who want to contribute more:

[Pub 17, pp. 17, 2011] You can make a contribution (gift) to reduce debt held by the public. If you wish to do so, make a separate check payable to “Bureau of the Public Debt.” Send your check to:

Bureau of the Public Debt
ATTN: Department G
P.O. Box 2188
Parkersburg, WV 26106-2188.

You can deduct this gift as a charitable contribution on next year’s tax return...

I visited the Bureau of the Public Debt website and found the following statistics (in U.S. dollars):

Current Debt Held by the Public Intragovernmental Holdings Total Public Debt Outstanding
12/08/2011 10,392,391,725,777.77 4,658,769,264,160.46 15,051,160,989,938.23

It turns out that gifts are sometimes made (source):

Gift Contributions
Fiscal Year to Date Totals
2012 $126,483.20
2011 $3,277,369.23
2010 $2,840,466.75
2009 3,063,057.05
2008 2,189,358.89
2007 2,624,862.42
2006 1,646,209.41
2005 1,455,541.65
2004 664,911.25
2003 1,277,423.40
2002 744,675.06
2001 1,645,082.28
2000 1,868,891.93
1999 1,457,510.59
1998 1,535,541.02
1997 955,897.15
1996 1,985,175.10

In the U.S., married taxpayers should figure tax three times:

[Pub 17, pp. 24, 2011] You will generally pay more combined tax on separate returns than you would on a joint return... However, ... you should figure your tax both ways (on a joint return and on separate returns). This way you can make sure you are using the filing status that results in the lowest combined tax.

This is silly, isn't there a better way than "guess-and-check"?

Don't forget to report bribes, kickbacks, stolen property, and income from other illegal activities:

[Pub 17, pp. 94, 2011] Bribes. If you receive a bribe, include it in your income.Illegal activities. Income from illegal activities, such as money from dealing illegal drugs, must be included in your income... Kickbacks. You must include kickbacks, side commissions, push money, or similar payments you receive in your income... Stolen property. If you steal property, you must report its fair market value in your income in the year you steal it unless in the same year, you return it to its rightful owner.

Don't give money to the damn commies:

[Pub 17, pp. 166, 2011] You cannot deduct contributions to organizations that are not qualified to receive tax-deductible contributions, including ... communist organizations.

Also under the list of things not deductable:

[Pub 17, pp. 207, 2011] Wristwatches You cannot deduct the cost of a wristwatch, even if there is a job requirement that you know the correct time to properly perform your duties.